For example, I had no idea Freddie was 19 (!?!) until a recent look at a blurb, since she comes across as about 13 or thereabouts, while Pierre seems to be about the same. Too bad, because chapters before and after it are so much better.ģ) CHARACTER PROBLEMS The way you develop and present these kids' characters, their ages are indistinguishable, inaccurately depicted or indeterminate. It lags, it sags it was so hard for me to slog through it, I almost didn't continue. You also have sentence fragments, inappropriate paragraph breaks (usually, not enough), and other structural mistakes, including a serious problems with commas, that a good editor and/or proofreader should have caught.Ģ) PACING PROBLEMS Chapter 9 is a disaster. Since you are writing for young people, I find it especially disturbing that you misuse words or have "waste" instead of "waist," for example. BTW, I don't mean differences between Australian/British-isms and American English. My critiques and comments (most were sent to author):ġ) LANGUAGE PROBLEMS There are numerous places in which your word choices are incorrect (wrong word entirely, or typos, perhaps, and misspellings) or words are missing or doubled. Story has merit Writing and editing are sorely lacking.
Robin Leigh Morgan is the author of a MG/YA Paranormal Romance novel entitled “I Kissed a Ghost” as well as the author of “Micro Fiction – An Anthology.” Day has skillfully pulled together all of the elements of his book I’m happy to give it 5 STARS A major player in the storyline is not an individual, but Mount Olympus, the large volcano everyone had been researching, especially when it came time for it to explode.
The sights and emotions are there, especially when it came to the children banding together not only to search for their parents who went missing while on a routine research expedition, but to survive on their own.Īn exciting portion in reading this book came when it is discovered Mars had at one time been inhabited by a race of blue beings still living comfortable beneath the surface of the Red Planet. In this book the author succeeds in placing us alongside those there as they face their new challenges each day. And of premise of having an entire family including their children on the planet reminds me of “Lost in Space” as the Robinson family travelled through the solar system. Such as at the end of this story, in the epilogue, where Mars being transformed right in front of someone’s eyes to a lush earth-like planet reminded me of the “Space Seed” episode of “Star Trek” starring Ricardo Montalban. I won a e-book copy of this book through a giveaway link on the “Chris the Reading Ape Blog” and the following is my honest opinion for the book.īeing a child of the 1950’s I have to wonder whether some of the television programs I watched as a child played any role in the author’s writing this book.
0 kommentar(er)
